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BIRD CRIMES preorders

Created by KEN'S PIN HUSTLE

BIRD CRIMES has migrated from backing to pre-production, so you can no longer boost that total up. However, you can still get your birds!

Latest Updates from Our Project:

Short update
1 day ago – Sat, May 18, 2024 at 08:42:28 PM

Hey, BIRD CRIMES flock.

Full transparency, this is a "things happened and I am not feeling jokes" kind of update. Skip to the bold text if you are here for product updates.

A few days ago, one of my birds was killed in a traumatic, avoidable accident. This is the second bird I have lost in a month because of my terrible, terrible rental company and their disdain for making my apartment worth the $1.5k they squeeze out of me.

This is one event in a string of, frankly, completely awful shit that has been happening in the past month. I implied one of these things in another update, but it's OK if you don't know what it is, because I didn't give any details. I had a bird escape a faulty window screen, and even after searching every tree in the neighborhood with a hunting dog for three weeks, there were never any signs or sightings. The hunting dog, in question, too, may be in relapse with a chronic infection, and it will be over two weeks before we know if she has permanent kidney damage that may shorten her life considerably. My over-achieving cockatiel has three different crop yeast infections, and while he's looking to be OK, the process of holding down a sweet, loving bird and having him thrash and scream and cry twice a day and be terrified of me when I come in the room is breaking my heart. 

My days off work have been spent either looking for a lost bird, taking an anxious cockatiel to a vet an hour away, or wrangling my shaking, cowering "fearless" akita into an exam room to be prodded with needles to make sure she will make it to her seventh birthday. This is my life for the past month and a half. I don't have breaks. I don't have leisure. And I love them, but it's taking its toll. My pets escaped with me from my previous situation, and they are the only family I have.

I generally cope by burying myself in work, and get record amounts of shit done, but I can't win this one. I've spent the past couple of days going to work, coming home, staring at my computer screen doing absolutely nothing and avoiding the room where it happened. I dropped the other sick idiot bird trying to give him meds yesterday, and I have had sleep and calisthenics for dinner for three nights. It's only been a few days, but I am already losing track of time and deadlines and what happened when.

I hate being sappy, but my animals genuinely are my world and the reason I do all this shit. Sorry, guys. It's not you. It's them. While I generally dislike making my issues personal for my customers, this is the straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I am at a point that my productivity is becoming your problem. 

I need to make sure more of those days don't happen, and to do that, I think I need to step back a little bit. Thank you for your patience. Nothing is stopping, but I need to slow down, and keep my nose in the actual production work and less on trying to be funny and creative when I don't have it in me.

I have emailed commission clients and one-on-one correspondences about this.

You can start reading here if you don't care about that, and just want product updates.

BIRD CRIMES' timelines will not be affected. Updates will be posted as they happen.
  • All orders were locked and cards charged on the 17th. We have about 30 failed charges, for either full orders or shipping. Please go in and check if your card was declined, and make sure it gets corrected. BackerKit will automatically attempt another charge in about a week.
  • You can no longer make changes to your order - pin designs, sticker choices can't be changed, and addons can't be added on. Manufacturing numbers are locked in and both sticker and pin orders have been placed.
  • The preorder store is now closed. Buyers who want LITTLE SHITS birds 1 stickers can still purchase them from the HUSTLE site. LITTLE SHITS birds 2, mammals sets will not be available until early summer on the HUSTLE. There are other bird goodies on the HUSTLE if you want them now, but they might take a little longer to ship than usual.
  • Backers can still change their addresses until fulfillment starts. Backers who are moving between now and early August should take note, especially. Make sure your address will be current by fulfillment time - while we don't have an exact time yet (it'll be announced as production gets further), expect mid to late Summer. 
  • All campaign-ordered CUSTOM CRIMES have had, at least, sketch artwork completed. Printing of badges has begun. If you have not reached out to me with your physical badge option yet, please do so - your deadline is your ship date, but sooner is better.
  • I am working on two more projects with other creators, which will launch in spring and summer. I'll talk more about them when I've got more funny words in my brain to put in an email. They're both about birds, and you should go follow Alstro Arts on Instagram and Corviforms on Twitter if you want some more details about each of them.
  • We have an enamel pin sample of the cockatiel, but the colors aren't quite right yet. Another bird creator has stepped in to save the day, with a pantone book that isn't old enough to drink. Turns out, sepia grays weren't invented until 2015. Who knew?
  • Otherwise, things are looking good - this is the final size and quality of the product you guys will be getting. I'm especially happy with how clear the screen printed text is. Fill colors are in the process of being corrected as we speak, and I hope to have a better sample to show you guys soon. My rep always does awesome, she's good people.


Thanks for reading. Stay good. Give your pets a forehead kiss for me tonight, yeah?

Urgent update for Millet Fund backers
6 days ago – Tue, May 14, 2024 at 06:26:45 PM

Good evening, Jailbirds! If you are in the Millet Fund tier, please read this. Otherwise, go on with your night!

If you are in the Millet Fund tier, and purchased addons, please check your email immediately.

Due to a BackerKit oversight, you were considered a "digital" tier, and have not been correctly sent a survey. This means your addon selections, and address, would not be collected.

You have manually been sent a survey to finish.

Due to this, I have extended survey dates by two days. All backers will now have until May 17 to complete surveys, and fix credit cards on file.

I apologize for any inconvenience, and if you have any further questions, feel free to reach out.

Final day for surveys + credit cards!
6 days ago – Tue, May 14, 2024 at 03:01:51 PM

Cheeky mascot bird says: we still have 8 un-charged backers, and 15 people who haven't filled out surveys! That means there are 7 of you who paid, but haven't told me what you want yet! Is that you?



If this is not corrected by midnight, you will forfeit rewards. I will not be offering BackerKit priced BIRD CRIMES products to failed backers: this is your last chance!

The PREORDER STORE will also be closing after tonight. If you haven't backed yet, this is your only chance to get BIRD CRIMES at BackerKit prices, and your last chance, overall, before they go up for retail sale.

This is also the only way to preorder LITTLE SHITS series BIRDS 2 and MAMMALS. There are some heavy-hitters in this set: if you would like woodpeckers, hyacinth macaws, hornbills, kestrels, emus, kookaburras, or most owl species, this is for you!

The first time these will be available retail is at ANTHROCON, in person! 

If you want yours before July, and don't want to brave the squeaker-infested Dealer's Den (and don't want to have to look upon my physical form), you should hop over to the Preorder Store now.

Remember, you can mix and match LITTLE SHITS sets in the 5 and 10 packs!

That's all for now! Thank you for reading, Jailbirds. Stay good!

ONE DAY LEFT ON SURVEYS + Some more info on Anthrocon and Custom Crimes
7 days ago – Mon, May 13, 2024 at 09:37:53 PM

Good evening, Jailbirds!

I spent today biting my nails down to the beds waiting to see if one of the birds was going to be OK. It's been a weird one. That's why you're getting this at midnight. Sorry, gang.

(the bird is OK, just stupid. He's an overachiever. THREE different yeast infections in his crop. If only he could put that much effort into thinking and problem solving, huh?)



The day has come: Wednesday, May 15th is the final day to submit your BIRD CRIMES survey. What does this mean?
  • You have one more day to pick your pins, mugshots, and addons with your pledged funds. You'll pick what criminals you want, for each one you picked during the campaign!
  • You've got that one day to add any additional pins, mugshots, or addons to your pledge. Want another few pins? Interested in a batch of LITTLE SHITS to top off your order? Those are all options!
  • If you haven't already, you will need to put a valid credit card on file. It will be charged Wednesday or Thursday. We have 9 failed credit card charges: is this you? Go check!
  • Make sure you have a valid address on file. You can change this later, but you should put in the address you expect to receive mail at in July or August. Are you graduating college? Moving apartments? Does your PO box expire between then and know? Think long and hard about it: please read my shipping policies, and note that I do not reship returned packages for free.
  • If you have backed for a CUSTOM CRIME addon, make sure you have at least one email correspondence with me. Whether it's getting your bird going, or knowing what physical option you'd like, I am waiting on final information from several of you. Reminders will go out shortly after this email is sent to the three backers I do not have approved sketches for.

Backers who do not have these things complete by Wednesday will forfeit rewards. I cannot guarantee stock availability, or the bandwidth to send it out, to backers who do not do their surveys and pay on time. Barring extenuating circumstances (I have a few people who have reached out about health issues), I will not be reserving stock at BackerKit prices for people who miss deadlines.

If you missed the campaign, but want to grab some items, the PREORDER STORE will also close Wednesday. Any orders placed will ship in the same batch as backers, so you will get them before retail stock goes up for sale.
 
If you are just here for BIRD CRIMES stuff only, this is where you can stop reading. Thank you in advance for double checking your survey and credit cards, and I hope to have manufacturing updates for you soon!


Did you miss out on CUSTOM CRIMES? Do you want one? I am taking some slots at campaign prices. Email me at [email protected] to start. I can include these in your pledge with the advertised 3 and 5 inch options as well, just let me know.


Speaking of things you might need badges for, Anthrocon!

As mentioned a few times, I will be at table G20 with Corviforms. I will have limited stock, and will mostly be helping table, as well as running a couple games.

We are still waiting on deadlines to see if full order pickup is available for BIRD CRIMES backers. I have to see how long pins will take. It is something I would like to offer, but again, it is down to manufacturing times.

Even if you aren't getting stuff, come say hi! I am holding a small meet and greet Thursday morning for you early birds who aren't hung over and/or jet lagged. If you opt in to badge pickup, I'll have your stuff, plus a few con goodies ready to greet you. Drop on by the National Aviary, and come spot some birds with us - or, meet us right at the con, and spot some suspiciously larger birds. Grab some bingo cards, and have some fun!

There are store prizes for both bingo games - including vouchers for preorder stock! Plus, one lucky winner will get that huge 24 inch Walmart macaw plush that I have no room for in my house. And a few of you will get bags of seed. But that's OK.

Read below for some more meetup details, and if you're coming, let me know on Twitter!

FREE SURVEY STICKER DESIGNS
9 days ago – Sat, May 11, 2024 at 11:52:08 AM

Hi, Jailbirds! Short update today.

I have your freebie sticker designs! These 2 inch glossy paper "voter stickers" are a prize for actually doing shit on time. Good job, everyone. Congratulations. You won.

Every package will randomly include one of these criminals. These are gloss paper, not vinyl. They'll still be awesome for journals, planners, sketchbooks, and the like!

If you'd like extras, or want to pick your sticker, extra stock will go in the HUSTLE shop later.



All Custom Crimes who have both paid in full, and given me correct information, have received sketches to approve. If you have not done either of these things, do it immediately. 

I'm debating how to handle no-shows or ghosts who don't respond by the 20th, but the options are not looking good for you. I have one person I am waiting on information from, and if you do not get back to me by that date, I unfortunately have to call your badge off.

If you have any level of artwork done, please reach out to me with your print option and details. Remember, you get a free laminated badge of your Custom Crime!


I am still holding my breath on Anthrocon pickup, but it is looking less likely. BIRD CRIMES pins may not be ready in time for backers to grab at AC. However, backers who have CUSTOM CRIMES will still have the option to pick these up at the event!

I'll have some more information on a Thursday morning meet-and-greet shortly. We have almost all the details finalized, except a nice poster with information. Expect that soon.

Thanks for reading, Jailbirds!